


A Conversation for Science

by lionessvalenti



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Gen, Gen Work, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 12:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Jake and Marco are fighting a war. Other times, they're just fifteen-year-old boys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Conversation for Science

My name is Jake. Sometimes I'm the leader of a small army fighting a war against aliens hell bent on taking over the world. On those days, I morph into a tiger to battle, or a cockroach if I need to sneak in somewhere.

Today, I was fighting algebra.

I was at Marco's house, trying to do my homework, emphasis on _trying_. I may have been asleep during that class, but I don't think it would have made a difference if I had been awake. None of the x's and y's made any sense. Now, despite Marco's plummeting grade point average, thanks to saving the world from alien slugs, he was actually really good at math, and that was what I needed right then.

"Explain this to me again," I said, but Marco wasn't paying attention. He was staring off into space. I snapped my fingers in front of his face. "If I fail this class, I'm going to blame you. Since I can't exactly blame Visser Three and expect anyone to believe me except Chapman, but then we would die." Actually, we would probably become Controllers, but I was going for drama.

Marco looked at me, his eyes finally focusing. "What do you think it's like to jerk it as a gorilla? I mean, he's got a thumb, so he could do it. It's not like if you were a dog and you'd have to hump someone's leg."

I stared at him. Those were the last words I had expected to come out of his mouth. "What are you talking about?"

"Animals jerk it, too," Marco said. "We, as animals, could know all about it. It could be like a science project. We'd definitely get A's. We could get Cassie in on it, that's her kind of thing."

My face heated up at the mention of Cassie in the context of this conversation. "I don't want to talk about this."

"Don't tell me you haven't thought about it," Marco replied.

"I really haven't," I said flatly.

"Dolphins have sex for fun," he continued, apparently not listening to me. "I guess that makes sense since they're so smart."

"Dolphins also rape people. And gang rape each other," I snapped.

Marco blinked at me. "Really?"

"Probably because they're so smart," I said sarcastically.

"They also can't reach their junk," he added. "Not that I'm making an excuse for them, because that's awful, but they can't."

I placed my hand to my forehead. "Can we just do our homework? Or the next time we go out on a mission all I'll be thinking about is..."

"Gorilla dong?" Marco asked with a grin.

"Any dong," I replied. I looked down at my algebra book in some vain hope that it would suddenly make sense to me. I glanced back up at Marco. "Never tell Cassie we had this conversation."

Marco tapped his finger to his brow in a sarcastic salute. He picked up his book, but he didn't open it. "Is that true about dolphins? We always have so much fun when we're dolphins."

"It's true," I said. I got a good look at his face, and he looked pretty dejected. I sighed. "But I bet gorillas have a lot of fun jerking it. Like you said, thumbs."

He grinned. "I should try that sometime. For science."

"On your own time," I replied. "Can we get through our homework first?"

"Yeah..." Marco grabbed his pencil and then asked, "What do you think an elephant does? They can't even hump a leg. Or a tree. They'd crush it."

I was pretty sure I was going to flunk out of high school, but I couldn't help it. I grinned at a sudden mental image. "Why don't you ask Rachel?"

He laughed, throwing his head back. "Yeah, if I had a death wish. Let's do the algebra."

"Thank you," I said. However, Marco had sufficiently killed my concentration. There was no way I could think about math now. "How do you think a tiger jerks it?"


End file.
